Embrace the truth

Hurts, pains, secrets, whatever. They all have something in common at times, and that's that it's often uneasy to get over them. I for one can attest to that.

It takes a great deal to embrace something that has you really deep. Be it a form of failure, disappointment, of even a heartbreak. Fact is, till you let yourself really feel the emotions, you can never truly heal.

They say time heals. But trust me, if you spend that time running and hiding from your own emotions, you only succeed in building up walls and masking the truth from even yourself. Healing? Far from it. You more or less end up causing insane and unnecessary damage to yourself.

I remember a couple of times growing up when I ran from my emotions. Actually, I ran from them a lot. If something didn't make sense, I just closed the chapter and promised myself never to open it up again. I would keep all those books with incomplete stories locked up within me for years.  But do you know what that did for me? Well yea, it gave me temporary relief, but at what price? Casting a load that only gets heavier and heavier as the years go by. And for what? Simply because I was to scared to look inside myself and embrace the truth about situations.

All the people I don't talk to now, all the names I can't even bare to hear mentioned, all the places I keep myself from going to simply because they remind me of unresolved issues. Sitting down to study only to hear voices deep within yourself telling you not to even bother "you're gonna fail it anyway."

Well I'm tired of all that. And seeing as we are in the season of making new year's resolutions, why not add mine.

•No more running
•No more hiding
•No more dread

From now onwards, I will embrace the truth and the pain that comes with it. Anything is better than the weight from years of silence.

I'm letting go.